Friday, June 4, 2010

Solutions to the Gulf Oil Leak

Over the past weekend, James Cameron decided to help GP with the gulf oil leak. "Over the last few weeks I've watched, as we all have, with growing horror and heartache, what's happening in the Gulf and thinking those morons don't know what they're doing," the Sun quoted Cameron, as saying.

Another blogger came up with ways Cameron might have helped BP.

Top 10 suggestions James Cameron gave BP to stop the oil leak that BP then terminated

Obama had a genius stroke the other day. To stop the oil leak, he would employ one of the best minds in engineering history - Hollywood director James Cameron. I guess all the eggheads up on the Hill that couldn't come together to blow a beer fart in a whirlwind weren't working out so well. Cameron swiftly gave BP his top-10 suggestions for stopping the leak:

1. Go back in time and kill the mother of the inventor of the deep water offshore oil rig.
2. Design a dive suit to use oxygenated water to withstand the high pressures. Send a guy down with weights and glowsticks to communicate with underwater aliens to help us out.
3. Beat Dick Cheney back to life after his next heart attack. Fight, damn it. FIGHT! Dick'll know what to do.
4. Since a slimy sheen threatens Florida, distract it with online porn and gambling.
5. Build the Titanic, move it over the leak, sink it. Make sure bad guy BP CEO is on board right where it cracks in two.
6. Genetically engineer an undersea Avatar. Have it manned by Sigorney Weaver or Lina Heady. Kick some oil slick ass. Keep Michael Biehn, Bill Paxton and Lance Henrickson on deck.
7. Design underwater 3D cameras to film the gusher because 3D cameras are cool.
8. Use a phased-plasma rifle in 40-watt range.
9. Hook me up with a 6th wife so I can think of a new concept.
10. Have Arnold drop that water heater looking nuke off a Harrier jet.Or just nuke it from space. It's the only way to be sure...

But while Cameron's offer wasn't accepted, it did get me thinking who else might help.

Richard Donner was the director of the original Superman movie. Now Superman should easily be able to "plug the damn hole." I would suggest that he break off some of Gilbrater (it is a British colony and BP is a British company) and plug the hole using it.

If he isn't available, I would go to Francis Ford Coppola. Now perhaps he could use enough bullet proof vests with fishes in them to plug the hole, but if that doesn't work he could make the BP president, "A offer he couldn't refuse." No one wants to wake up in the morning with a horses head in his bed even if you are British.

Ridley Scott has produced many epics including Gladiator. At the beginning of that movie you had many catapults flinging fiery payloads towards the German. Perhaps he could load those catapults with heavy stones to plug the hole.

My final candidate is Bryan Singer. As director of the X-men he could assemble a team of Superheroes to plug the hole. This would be helpful especially if the hole has kryptonite by it and it prevents Superman from doing the job.

Obama Stats.

The latest Rasmussen Poll tells us a lot about President Obama's and the Democrats popularity. Laying aside his popularity with Democrats and unpopularity with Republicans, how is he doing among independents?

Today Obama had a -16 index (strongly approve minus strongly disapprove). Among those not affiliated with either major party, 16% Strongly Approve and 46% Strongly Disapprove which works out to a -30 index. Since Democrats account for about 36% of the electorate, and Republicans account for 32%, both of them must win the independents if they want to win elections. A -30 is a huge number that bode ill for people with a D by their name.

No comments:

Post a Comment